Goodbye
by Shanaqui
Summary: A pilgrimage begins with the first resolve to become a summoner. Includes ChappuxLulu, but isn't a pairing focused fic.


The ship rocks in the water. Chappu hugs her tightly, and Lulu hugs back. "You'd better come back," she says, softly, into his ear.

"Hey, of course I will. We've gotta get married, ya?"

"Yes," she says, pulling back. Chappu grins at her.

"So don't look so grumpy!"

"I don't want you to go," Lulu starts to say, but then Yuna runs up, waving.

"Chappu! Were you trying to sneak off without saying goodbye?"

"Of course not!" he says, pulling away from Lulu and grinning at Yuna. "How could I go off to fight Sin without saying goodbye to the prettiest girl in Besaid?"

"You shouldn't say that in front of Lulu," she says, making a face. Chappu laughs.

"It's alright -- she's the most beautiful young woman in the world, so she's got a bit before you steal that title too, ya?" He steps forward and gives her a hug. "By the time I come back, you'd better have grown up some more. You can't stay little forever, you know."

"I'll be taller than you by the time you come back!" Yuna promises, laughing. "And maybe I'll start training to be a summoner, you know, so you have to come back and be my guardian some day."

He grins again. "Of course. I'll fight Sin now as practice for being your guardian!"

Wakka comes down talking to some of the Crusaders on the ship, scowling. His face has been stuck like that since Chappu announced he was leaving, Lulu thinks -- but she can't blame him. It's only what she would be like if Chappu wasn't there to make her smile. "It's time for you to get on board, Chappu. Be careful, ya? Don't want you falling off the side before you ever get near Sin."

"I'll be careful, Wakka," Chappu says, and only Lulu sees him rolling his eyes. She can't help but smile, even as he moves up onto the ship. "Remember what I promised, Lu," he says, softly, leaning over the side of the ship, looking only at her for a moment. And he bows to all of them, as the ship slowly pulls away from the pier.

---

"I'm going to do it," Yuna says. Lulu looks up, painfully aware of her own tear-smudged eyes, the grief that she can't hide. _Chappu_, she thinks, and it stabs her in the heart again, but she forces the tears back, blinking away the blurring. Yuna is sitting up very straight, staring into the distance. She's not crying, not now, and there's hardly any sign of the tears on her face. Her hands are fisted, though, resting in her lap, her shoulders tense. She looks incredibly strong and incredibly fragile all at once.

"Do what?" Wakka asks, after a moment, his voice rough with unshed tears, like he's on the edge of breaking down but just _won't_. He's kept his eyes dry, even with the news, like he still has to be strong for Chappu even when he's gone. Lulu shakes away the thought, looking up at Yuna again.

"I'm going to become a summoner," she says, quietly. She glances from one face to the other, lingering for a moment on Lulu's, taking in her puffy eyes. Her mouth firms a little with fresh resolve. "I'm going to defeat Sin, so that for a while people like us won't have to lose people that are important to them. I'm -- I'm going to follow in my father's footsteps."

Lulu sits up quickly. "Yuna -- "

Yuna smiles at her, a peaceful, sweet little smile. It seems horribly inappropriate considering the news, and what she's saying. "Don't tell me I can't, Lulu."

"But you can't!" Wakka's voice cracks a little. "You know what will happen, Yuna! We'll lose you!"

"But so many other people won't _have_ to lose people for a while. Please don't try to talk me out of it. I've made up my mind." Yuna takes a deep breath, catching Lulu's eyes, pleading with her without words. Lulu takes a deep breath too, shaky with emotion, and gets up, hugging Yuna. Yuna rests her face against her shoulder, burying it there, and holds tightly in return.

"I know what you're trying to do," Lulu says, holding Yuna tightly as if _that_ could fix all the troubles of the world. She runs her fingers through Yuna's hair, smoothing it, trying to find words. She doesn't even sound choked up, when she finally speaks. "But don't think you've got me convinced yet."

"Nor me!" Wakka says, crouching down next to them and touching Yuna's shoulder lightly. "You hear that?"

"I'd be worried if I _had_ convinced you already," Yuna whispers, not moving. Wakka looks at them both awkwardly, meeting Lulu's eyes over Yuna's shoulder. There's something lost in his eyes, as if he needs to be held as much as Yuna does. Lulu closes her eyes and holds Yuna closer, trying not to remember that Yuna does, after all, always get her way.

---

"Do you think everyone will miss me, when I go away?" Yuna asks.

"Aren't you supposed to be practising your _focusing_?" Lulu asks, unable to keep from smiling. "You know that you need to learn how to focus and concentrate while you're praying. You've got to have that, you have to be resolved to doing it, to win your aeon."

"Oh, I know." Yuna smiles, sitting up straighter. "But I've been practising _that_ all day. Do you think everyone will miss me?"

"Of course they will, Yuna," she says, quietly. She's supposed to be fixing a doll for one of the children, so she bends her head to that task now to hide her eyes. "Everyone will miss you. Everybody is so proud of you for what you're going to do, but... you've grown up here, after all. People love you."

"And I love them." Yuna bites her lip. "Lulu?"

"Yes?"

"Is it worth it?"

Lulu concentrates, for a moment longer, on the doll. She makes her stitches small and neat, narrowing her eyes in concentration. But Yuna waits for her to finish, eyes on her face, and so she finally does look up. "You'd know that better than me," she says, finally. "I -- I'm not sure I could do what you're doing. And Sin always does come back. But..."

"If you could have had ten more years with Chappu, would that be worth it?"

"I don't know." She looks away, shrugging slightly. "It seems like all we can do these days is trade one thing we love for another. I wouldn't want to lose you just to have Chappu. Or the other way round. But this way... I've lost him already, and now I'm going to lose you, too."

"I'm sorry, Lulu," Yuna says, suddenly contrite. She gets up on her knees, moving over to her, but Lulu shakes her head, sitting up straighter.

"It's alright, Yuna. Go back to your practising. You're strong, but you're going to need to learn how to harness every single bit of that to go all the way to Zanarkand. Too many summoners die or get lost on the way -- you need to be ready."

"Okay, Lulu," Yuna says, but for a moment she doesn't move.

---

"You don't have to do it, y'know," Wakka says, scratching at the back of his head nervously. Lulu stands a little apart, with Kimahri. Her eyes are on Yuna, ignoring the sounds of people saying their prayers, wishing Yuna luck, and simply watching. Yuna just smiles at Wakka.

"We've been through this, Wakka. I'm going to do it. Spira needs a summoner, and I'm the daughter of High Summoner Braska. That's the best kind of summoner they can hope for."

"Just because _he_ was a summoner doesn't mean you have to be!"

"Of course not." Yuna shakes her head. "Wakka, I thought you agreed you weren't going to try to talk me out of this? If you're always doubting me, how am I ever going to do this? I need -- I need you and Lulu to _believe_ in me. I'm doing it for you. And for Chappu."

Wakka winces at the name. Lulu just raises her head a little higher, feeling a strange calm descending over her, deadening the pain and lending her resolve. "I believe in you, Yuna," she says, gently, more gently than she's said anything to anyone since Chappu died. She reaches out and Yuna comes over to her, and she hugs her tightly -- briefly, this time, letting her go again almost immediately.

"Thanks, Lulu," she says, quietly. "I couldn't do this without you, you know."

"I still don't want you to do this."

Yuna smiles, bravely. "Of course not. Sometimes _I_ don't want to do this. But -- Lulu, you understand, don't you? I _have_ to."

"Yes," Lulu says, reluctantly. "I understand."

_You understand, don't you, Lulu? I have to go and fight Sin. I have to do this. There'll be time for you and me when I come back -- I promise. When I come back, I'll marry you! How does that sound?_

She'd said she understood then, too. For a moment she searches for optimistic words, for something bright -- for something like the hope Chappu gave her, before he left.

There's nothing. But Yuna has already turned, walking into the temple amid a tumult of blessings and good will, and from somewhere Lulu finds the strength to follow.

"I'll be with you all the way, Yuna," she says, quietly. Yuna turns her head and just smiles, her thoughts already on the trials ahead.

---

"I don't want tonight to end."

Lulu says nothing. Wakka kicks something into the fire, gritting his teeth.

"In the morning, Yuna's going to say goodbye to everyone and..."

Lulu still doesn't say anything. Wakka looks down at her, helplessly.

"It's horrible, ya? It seems halfway alright when it's some old geezer, but this is Yuna! How can we let her do this so easily?"

"It's what she wants to do." Lulu stands, the beads in her hair clattering together. "Let it lie, Wakka. We've had this conversation too many times already. Tomorrow we're leaving, because Yuna can't let go of her resolve now. She's obtained her first aeon -- she knows now that she has the power to see this through. She'll never turn back now."

"How can you see things like that? This is Yuna..."

"So you've said," Lulu says, icy as a blizzard spell. "Wakka. This is something she wants to do. We both know that she's strong enough to see it through. Who are we to do anything but protect her along the way, and see that her life isn't _wasted_?"

For a moment, Wakka's silent. He kicks something else into the fire, nodding slightly. "At least she'll be remembered," he says, finally. "You know I'll be with you and Kimahri too."

"For whatever good you'll do," she says, sharp again. "If your mind wasn't on blitzball all the time -- "

"Hey, hey, it's just one last tournament, ya? We win this, I put blitzball out of my mind and become a full time guardian for Yuna."

"Win it? I've seen you at practice, Wakka."

"We're gettin' better! And besides, now we've got Tidus on our side."

Lulu's eyes narrow a little. "Ah. Yes. That one. About him..."

---

"Are you still convinced we have to do this?"

Yuna laughs, bright, brittle. "Lulu, I've got my first aeon now! You've seen the way people look at me. How can I turn back now?" She hesitates, and then turns to Lulu, her eyes bright too. "Do you think I can do it? Really?"

"Of course I do." Lulu crosses the tiny space between them and pulls Yuna to her, hugging her tightly again. "I don't mean to make you think you can't do it. I know you can. We're going to do this, and we're going to make it to Zanarkand, and you're going to obtain the Final Summon and fight Sin. I know you can do it, and I'm going to be with you every step of the way."

Yuna nods. She barely hugs back -- already receding away, Lulu thinks, but all she feels is another pang in her already aching heart. "So, please," she whispers, "don't ask me to turn back again. I heard you telling Wakka off about it, last night. You can't tell him not to do it and then do it yourself, you know."

"I won't," Lulu promises, holding Yuna tighter for a moment, and then pulling away. "I'll let you get ready. I'll go and make sure Wakka's awake. It wouldn't do for us to have to leave one guardian behind before we even get out of Besaid."

"Lulu?"

Lulu turns in the doorway. "Yes?"

"Try not to look so grumpy," Yuna says, smiling.

---

The ship rocks gently in the water. Lulu stands still again, a center of calm now. She watches Yuna as she bows her farewell, as she watches the people lining up to see her go. She wishes she could say something to make it easier. She wishes that it could all be turned on its head, or at least that Yuna wouldn't have to look and know she was seeing all the beloved, familiar things for the last time.

Perhaps, she reflects, for her too, it's the last time. She looks up at the beach one more time, imagining there a young man, waving them off. But if he was there, she wouldn't go -- or he'd be here with them, ready to give his all alongside his brother, to help Yuna. He'd be here to help them all smile.

Yuna isn't the first summoner she's guarded, of course. But there's something final about it, even now, so far from Zanarkand. Something she never felt before. There's a sick certainty somewhere inside her that Yuna _will_ succeed.

What power keeps the tears from Yuna's cheeks, Lulu does not know. But she knows, with an aching inside, that that power will guide Yuna's steps, and that she will not falter. She won't be one of the cursed and lucky who turn back, their resolve ebbing away. They will go to Zanarkand, in the end, and in the end, Yuna will perform the Final Summoning.

Lulu draws on all the power she has to keep her own cheeks dry. She watches Yuna and the receding coastline, until the shapes on the pier are nothing more than brightly coloured specks. Then she steps forward, putting her hand on Yuna's arm. "Come away now. You've said goodbye."


End file.
